While the temperature still tells us that it is summer, the shorter days are signaling it is time to head back to school. For everyone this means bedtimes are pushed up and alarm clocks are set back.
A new school year can bring a wide range of emotions - from apprehension to excitement - for faculty, staff, students and parents. All of these feelings are totally normal! There are unknown social and academic challenges to face, but there are things that can be done to make for a smooth transition from the relaxing, casual vibe of summer to the more structured routine of the school year.
The National Association of School Psychologists makes the following recommendations to ease the back-to-school transition:
Clear your own schedule
To the extent possible, postpone business trips, volunteer meetings, and extra projects. You want to be free to help your child acclimate to the school routine and overcome the confusion or anxiety that many children experience at the start of a new school year.
Set alarm clocks
Have school-age children set their own alarm clocks to get up in the morning. Praise them for prompt response to morning schedules.
Leave plenty of extra time
Make sure your child has plenty of time to get up, eat breakfast, and get to school.
After school
Review with your child what to do if he or she gets home after school and you are not there. Be very specific, particularly with young children. Put a note card in their backpack with the name(s) and number(s) of a neighbor who is home during the day as well as a number where you can be reached.
Review your child's schoolbooks
Talk about what your child will be learning during the year. Share your enthusiasm for the subjects and your confidence in your child's ability to master the content. Reinforce the natural progression of the learning process that occurs over the school year. Learning skills take time and repetition. Encourage your child to be patient, attentive, and positive.
Send a brief note to your child's teacher
Let the teachers know that you are interested in getting regular feedback on how and what your child is doing in school. Be sure to attend back-to-school night and introduce yourself to the teachers. Convey a sincere desire to be a partner with your children's teachers to enhance their learning experience.
Familiarize yourself with the other school professionals
Make an effort to find out who it is in the school who can be a resource for you and your child. Learn their roles and how best to access their help if you need them. This can include the division director and administrative assistant; division school psychologist and counselor; school nurse and the after-school activities coordinator.
Overcoming Anxiety
Let your children know you care
If your child is anxious about school, send personal notes in their book bag. Reinforce the ability to cope. Children absorb their parent's anxiety, so model optimism and confidence for your child. Let your child know that it is natural to be a little nervous anytime you start something new but that your child will be just fine once he or she becomes familiar with classmates, the teacher, and school routine.
Do not overreact
If the first few days are a little rough, try not to overreact. Young children in particular may experience separation anxiety or shyness initially but teachers are trained to help them adjust. If you drop them off, try not to linger. Reassure them that you love them, will think of them during the day, and will be back. Remain calm and positive.
Acknowledge anxiety over a bad experience the previous year
Children who had a difficult time academically or socially or were teased or bullied may be more fearful or reluctant to return to school. If you have not yet done so, share your child's concern with the school and confirm that the problem has been addressed. Reassure your child that the problem will not occur again in the new school year, and that you and the school are working together to prevent further issues. Reinforce your child's ability to cope. Give your child a few strategies to manage a difficult situation on his or her own. But encourage your child to tell you or the teacher if the problem persists. Maintain open lines of communication with the school.
Arrange play dates
Try to arrange get-togethers with some of your child's classmates before school starts and during the first weeks of schools to help your child re-establish positive social relationships with peers.
Extracurricular Activities
Go for quality, not quantity
Your child will benefit most from one or two activities that are fun, reinforce social development, and teach new skills. Too much scheduled time can be stressful, especially for young children, and may make it harder to concentrate on schoolwork. When evaluating extracurricular activities, consider your family schedule and personal energy level. Multiple activities per child may be too much to manage, particularly if the activities have overlapping times, disparate locations, require your attendance, or disrupt the dinner hour. If your child does not want to participate in regular, organized extracurricular activities, you may want to consider other options to help build interests and social skills. For example, check out the local library for monthly reading programs, find out if your local recreation or community center offers drop-in activities, or talk to other parents and schedule regular play dates with their children.
When Problems Arise
These recommendations can contribute to a positive and productive school experience for most children. Some children may exhibit more extreme opposition to or fear of school or may be coping with more specific learning or psychological difficulties. If your child demonstrates problems that seem extreme in nature or go on for an extended period, you may want to contact the school to set up an appointment to meet with your child's teachers and school psychologist. They may be able to offer direct or indirect support that will help identify and reduce the presenting problem. They may also suggest other resources within the school and the community to help you address the situation. While children can display a variety of behaviors, it is generally wise not to over interpret those behaviors. More often than not, time and a few intervention strategies will remedy the problem. Most children are wonderfully resilient and, with your support and encouragement, will thrive throughout their school experience.
Adapted from Helping Children at Home and School II: Handouts for Families and Educators (NASP, 2004).